Just back from Cloud 9 and the Blackcaps are still World Champions!

YES! The Blackcaps from little old New Zealand are the World Champions of cricket. And now, not just the best at ODIs, we're also the best at test cricket. 

WORLD CHAMPIONS!

What a monumental six days of totally absorbing rain-filled cricket that was. How good was India? How good were we? The quality of the cricket on display reflected the enornmity of the occasion. No quarter was given. Every wicket was fought for and earned. 

I can only think of a couple of false strokes in the test where the pressure got to a batter and they attempted to flail their way out of trouble. Rahane probably regrets giving up his wicket in the 2nd innnings. It did appear to be a game changer.  

To the lucky buggers that got to watch the game live, thanks for making enough noise to fill a stadium. Wish I'd been lucky enough to get some in the ballot. 

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What can I add to the millions of lines that have been written already?

I thought about linking to all the articles for posterity, but there's too many. Here's some of the best ones:

Not luck, not fluke - New Zealand deserve to be the World Test Champions - Jarrod Kimber for Cricinfo. I'm no Kimber fan - over the years he's not been our best friend but he seems to be on board now. 

Kiwis do fly, to the top of the world - Sydney Morning Herald acknowledge the result.

The Champion Team - Sportsfreak covers the result

I don't do podcasts much but for posterity's sake Offspin covered the test daily.

For Ross, Kane, Tim, and Trent this is the culmination off their hard work and sheer brillance. For Wags and Watling, this is what happens to top blokes who believe and never say die. For Tom and Henry, the quiet and consistent performers that every team needs, your reward is now here. For Colin and his hairdo, thanks for bringing the lols to the team. For Kyle and Devon, the new boys on the block, cricket is just too easy apparently. I hope they continue to have awesome careers.  

How lucky are we to have so many good cricketers in one generation? And with more in the background ready to jump in and fill their shoes when retirment or injury occurs. Well done NZ cricket administrators for getting the coaching, administration, grounds, and pitches in decent order. 

That super sexy WTC Final jersey

To my fellow blackcaps supporters and kiwi cricket tragics, yes it has been worth us travelling the world to watch the boys at Lords, the MCG, Edgbaston, the SCG, the Basin, the Gabba, the Bay Oval, and Seddon Park (never Eden Park which is a travesty of a cricket ground). This World Championship is ours too, our reward for never ending belief in a team.

To my fellow twitter cricket supporters. Thanks for sharing the experience. You make the game even more interesting, stat filled, and fun. It's been worth you writing your titbits - never doubt your words.

To the rest of the cricket world, thanks for bothering to play us, for without you, we couldn't be the best.

One more pic (try not to cry):

Ross and Kane - World Class

Ryan Nelsen interview

Just found this podcast / YouTube channel today - Between Two Beers. No idea who the guys are but they appear to have access to some of NZ's greatest sporting stars. The 50th episode of Between Two Beers is magic as it features All Whites, DC United, Blackburn, and Tottenham legend, Ryan Nelsen. 

As we all know I'm a huge All Whites fan and of course, Ryan led the boys for a good ten years. His portrait by illustrator Elliot Quince sits beside me every day in the office.

Ryan is a top bloke. Not only was he damn good at football. Turns out he's also fun, clever, and good at everything. His story is magic, from leaving NZ to go to university in the USA, the MLS with DC United,  through to the premiership years, and then the MLS again in Toronto and on to a successful business career after. 

Interesting to note that Ryan could have played cricket for the Blackcaps. He was captain of the NZ Under 18 team featuring Vettori, Oram, the Marshalls, etc., and chose to go to university in America instead as he was worried that his dodgy knee would give up any day and force him to lead a civilian life rather than a sporting career. Incredible really. 

Watch the interview below - it's completely worth it, if only for the memories of fat Sam, Tugay, Samba, Mark Hughes, etc. In his recollection is the amateurish preparation and support for the World Cup in 2010. I am so proud of the team that competed at that tournament (the only unbeaten squad), but it feels like it may have been an opportunity missed now. The players were so good at the time - just imagine how well they could have done with world-class support.

Blackcaps vs Sth Africa – CWC, Edgbaston

Pics from the CWC19 trip to support the boys in the game vs the Saffas. A fine game superbly controlled by Kane’s excellent 100 and the six at the end was incredible stuff.

Supporting the Blackcaps at the World Cup 2019

Went to The Oval during the week to cheer on the boys against the Bangles. Job done as we restricted them to a very gettable 244, then proceeded to make it look like 444. Ross batted superbly despite almost been run out multiple times by the Boy Wonder. All handled eventually though as Mitch Santner got us over the line with a cool head while those of us in the stands hid behind hands or ran off to the loo to have a panic wee.

A few pics:

A gloomy start

Absolutely surrounded by Bangles fans.
Good bunch though.

Trent

Living legend Trent Boutl signs a bat with
my sharpie. Yay! 

And then fielding at boss level.

Was randomly recording when lovely trentty caught this.
Portrait video though - arrgghh. What's wrong with me?

Things are getting bloody tense now.

This bloke was pretty happy with the win. Still, he was 5 or 6 wine carafes to the wind at this stage.

All over, red rover. This bloke reckons he's gonna keep me from running on the pitch.

Bring Hogan's Gear Back to NZ

Maximus Decimus Meridius AKA Russell Crowe is being taken to the cleaners by his previous lady friend and is having one mother of an auction to divvy up the proceeds of his life. Amongst the swords, costumes, artwork and paraphernalia an actor collects is a bunch of historically important cricket artefacts given to him by Martin 'Hogan' Crowe. These include Martin's bat he made his 17th and last century with and his shirt from the 1992 World Cup. Rather than let these items fall into a collector's hands, one good soul has started a funding page to try and earn enough money to bid on these items and donate them to the NZ Cricket Museum.

I guess you could argue that there are infinitely better causes to give your money to but equally few things in life will give you as much pleasure as watching cricket. It's the cathartic experience everyone should have in their life. Nothing beats a beer in one hand, the newspaper in the other, the crack of willow on leather in the distance and the roar of the crowd. Martin Crowe provided many of my favourite memories growing up and I'm sure others of my age will be nodding their head along. If you want to get involved in saving a piece of NZ nostalgia for other New Zealanders to enjoy, visit the Give A Little page and donate a few dollars to help the cause.

Sport being sporty

Bloody hell sport is good.

Proof.

What an incredible dive to save the point!

We don't know how lucky we are

Been a while since posting last but the sporting world has continued on regardless. There's a Lions tour of NZ to look forward to in June, Lord Brendon is currently smiting the ball to all corners in the IPL and there's plenty of kickball to go in the premiership, racquet bashing in the Summer, and some sailor boys to support in May.

Meantime we lost another great NZ'er last week, John Clarke. As Fred Dagg he had me snorting, giggling and guffawing as a kid and I still find myself humming along to Gumboots from time to time, even to this day. Here's hoping he's making them laugh somewhere else now. He joins a list of mighty heroes that passed away in the last year including Ray Columbus, Murray Ball, Steve Sumner, Chris Amon, and Martin Crowe. All had a mighty impact on my life.

Just remember kids, we don't how lucky we are.

Add some lasers ....

Special Effects Rugby



Just because...

Thanks for the memories bro - RIP Jonah

An amazing player.



A top bloke.

An adman's dream.




That amazing Playstation game from our youth (and that commentary).



Thanks for everything Jonah. You are missed.

The Mega Wrap Up of the 2015 Rugby World Cup

A last look at the World Cup. Superb memories,

The Final

What a fantastic game. The All Blacks playing with flair and imagination. Australia doing their damndest to stay in the game. It will forever be Dan Carter's final though. So calm and composed in the aussie fightback, tackling his way to the top of the stats and serenely dropping that goal from 40m to put us back out to a 7 point lead. Regardless of how well Dan played, every player brought their A game. It was a final with loads of points and should be remembered for all time. Maybe as good as the 1987 one.

The Epic
Richie was Epic.
Pocock was Epic.
Dan was Epic.
Kaino was Epic. Player of the tournament?

The Good
Nonu - one last game, one last complete performance. Vied with Richie and Dan for MOTM. GO BOY!!! (How good is the commentary?! We had the ITV stuff over here and there wasn't one moment of excitement expressed during the entire World Cup).

Milner Skudder - so many runs, so many metres.
Nigel Owens - what a ref. An incredible understanding of the game and the players. Made every match he officiated in the best he could.
Whitelock and Retallick - so good. So beautiful. So dominant.


The Bad (but not really that bad)
- Conrad was clearly taken off too early. The first half was total domination and the Wobblies had no ball. But without him there were gaps everywhere. I know SBW set up the Nonunator for that great try, but Conrad could have done that too. It's overlooked how good Conrad is on defence - we will probably never see his like again. The player that is everywhere, plays as the fourth loose forward, and sets up attacks. Without him in the line and at the breakdown we were short and unable to compete with their loosies. I'm delighted that his last play in the game was to set up the try for Milner Skudder but gutted that he didn't get the standing ovation for his career he deserved had he come off in the second half.
- Ben Smith was a very naughty boy and his yellow card could have cost us the game. As it was, it was 14 points. Although, had he not been sent off, the score would probably have blown out to massive proportions. We were that good it would have been a 30 point margin. Ben's yellow card evened things up and made the game a greater spectacle.
- Kepu's multiple attacks on the neck and head of various players. A shit of a man. Not sure how he stayed on the pitch. Here's an uber nerd analysing just one of them on Richie.


And here's the screen shots of him high-tackling Milner-Skudder and then face raking / eye gouging him. Prison is the only place for this bloke.

The Tournament

The Good


The BAD
The bad bits about the World Cup were so bad that they can't really be glossed over. Ticketing was a joke. There were never any tickets available. Despite visiting the ticket site every day

The All Blacks tax was in full effect too. Prices were double to watch an ABs game vs the same opposition.

The Legacy

Hopefully the world will now rate the All Blacks a little higher. There's a lot of sniffiness about the ABs in the northern hemisphere. We only win at home (not any more!), Richie is constantly offside and cheats in every ruck (in the age of video refereeing and stadium reffing this is just impossible plus it just reflects on their lack of understanding of the laws of the game), we're chokers (not any more!), we're grumpy, miserable and bad winners (not any more! see SBW helping defeated foes from the turf , see Richie's girlfriend reveal that he's a human being too).

The rest of the world is very bad at rugby and the gulf is massive between us and the rest at the moment. Are they just in a lull? Were we at the height of our playing cycle? The possible legacy of this tournament is that everyone gets a little disheartened and we've put a bunch of kids around the world off playing (other than in NZ).

Small example but still valid. My boy is now at high school in the UK. He wants to play Rugby or at least try it. Their year had the rugby tryouts last week - 7 kids turned up. This was just 3 days after the World Cup final!! Despite a very well organised tournament, there is no passion for the game over here.

They are all talk and singing

I don't think many people in the world rate Chris Rattue of the NZ Herald as a sports writer, but in his summary of the World Cup he was pretty accurate.

But the rest of world rugby hovers around incompetence. It's a game awash with money and gizmos and money but devoid of sufficient rugby sense and maybe raw-athletic resources.

Australia got smashed in the final. They were physically overpowered. They can't last the distance in a tournament. 

England play like draft horses. They even dare to go into big matches without a proper openside. They are all talk and singing.

France were pathetic in the quarterfinal - the land of scary forwards turned up with powder puffs instead. Money isn't talking.

Wales think they can survive on a swarming defence and backs built like forwards, some of whom aren't even as skilful as the All Black forwards.

South Africa have regressed, finding their game plan on the wall of an ancient cave.

Ireland suffered key injuries, but they still don't truly believe. They aren't rugby's little people. But the back up players probably are unfortunately.

Argentina were superb for a rising nation. I loved watching Argentina, who were like a blast from the past. But they will struggle to rise much further, once they get overly tactical and freaked out by error rates.

As for Nigel Owens, his refereeing in the final was on the button, even if it slipped off a couple of times. He got a few things wrong, including a giant All Black forward pass. But he was on the lax side, and rugby needs referees on the lax side. Otherwise it turns into Rugby Laws 101 under professor Wayne Barnes. Most of us would rather watch the TV test pattern (remember that).

Jesus, the cricket?!!!

Holy dingo baby eaters, we're getting our ass handed to us. 389/2 on the first day. We're meant to be killing the worst Australian team since the 80s.

What went wrong boys? Were we too cocky?

Fingers crossed for tomorrow or we're going 1-0 down.

World Champions!!!

This is amazing.



SBW gives his medal away to a young boy who'd run on to the field. Watch Messam give his hat away too and Uncle Steve give him a hug. Brings tears to the eye.

Rugby World Cup Final - New Zealand vs Australia

Six incredible rugby filled weeks have boiled down to this. Seemingly the greatest final there could have been as the two best teams before the tournament began have made it to Twickenham.

So who's going to win? In the spirit of the AB Enquirer, we have to go for The ABs. Australia are clear favourites though. Having beaten big teams all the way through, they're mentally honed for the task. In Pocock, Hooper, Fardy and McCalman, they have the standout loosies and have easily the best defence at the RWC conceding almost no tries against the big teams.

There'll be no shame in losing to this Aussie team if we do. They were the form team leading into the tournament, that form has continued, and they typically play well in England. They're an excellent unit with good leadership and management. Cheika has them pumped up and they have an amazing never say die attitude, reminiscent of Gandalf shouting in LOTR...


via GIPHY

Just getting to a final again is a massive achievement on our part, given our history of nerves in tournaments and less than stellar previous form in northern hemisphere tournies. But this year we have Ben and Aaron Smith, the experience of the retirees, Nonu, Conrad, McCaw and Carter, and the dazzling skills of Savea and Mulder Sculley to light up the game.

I was the only person in the world who predicted the last World Cup final would be an horrendously tight affair and it was. This on the other hand I expect to go slightly differently. If anything we are the more rested team with just the one massive game during the tournament so far, we have hardly been stretched consistently unlike Oz. We should have plenty left in the tank in the last 20 minutes to tear the game apart.

Will Carter last the game and stamp is mark on eternity. Or will he be the nearly man who broke down in every World Cup but everyone remembers him for that amazing 2005 year against the Lions? Will the GABEVER go down in history alongside Ma'a Nonu as the greatest centre combination ever? Will Savea break the single tournament try scoring record? Will Richie lift the cup again and go #BlacktoBlack? Will our scrum survive?

It's a nice day. No rubbish rain to dampen the spirits and take the pace out of the game. ABs by 10 at least.

LET'S GO ALL BLACKS!!!!!!!!

Battle for Bronze

Just two games to go now. Boo hoo.

Third place is on offer tonight as the Saffas take on the Pumas. It's another clash of styles as we'll watch the Boks rumble it up and chase du Preez's box kicks hoping for a penalty they can kick at goal. Same as last week against us then...

Meanwhile in the other corner, it's the darlings of the world cup (ok, the other darlings - Japan unfortunately went home early), Argentina. Their dazzling displays of backline virtuosity have been beautiful to watch. Have they got one more game left in them? Or has last week's disappointment rendered them useless and just wanting to go home?

Hopefully ImHoff, Cordero, Sanchez and Hernandes are still motivated by a bronze medal (?) and we can have one more victory for the beautiful game. Those stats from Cordero are impressive .... 

454 metres gained, 25 defenders beaten, 16 carries over the gainline.

It's too tense to write about the big game tomorrow...but we'll give it a crack in the morning.

Semi-final One: The quick, bullet-point guide to beating the boks

• STOP Burger
• Win the breakdown
• Be first to the ball
• Don't drop our passes
• No scrums
• Take our catches (looking at you K Read)
• Get the ball to Mulder Sculley and Julian
• Put pressure on du Preez so he can't kick us round the park
• Ben at the Back catch every ball and join into the line like a young Christian Cullen
• Get parity in the lineout with their tall timbers, Etsebeth and de Jager
• Make our turnovers
• Nonu and Smith - don't be intimidated by youth, rely on experience
• Dan, it would be good if you didn't break down in this game
• NO SILLY YELLOW CARDS!

If we make it to the final, we'll be the oldest team ever to do so....fingers crossed.

Good luck boys. Smash the boks.

Game of Throws - Monopoly: Cricket Edition

On the day the boys are beginning their tour of Australia (and what will prove to be an absolute triumph of a tour and leave Australians crying into their VBs and XXXXs looking for a new national past-time), I've spotted this on the cyber net.

It's the cricket version of Monopoly. Collect grounds from around the world instead of streets, put stadiums and press boxes on them instead of houses and hotels.

Quick video overview of it below. Looks good-ish and might do someone a decent Chrissy present. Lords and the MCG in the top spots, while The Basin is included but bizarrely ranked lower in the order than the abysmal Eden Park AKA 'the worst cricket ground in the world.' TM

All Blacks perform first ever live vivisection of a Rugby team in front of global audience - 62 -13

What's red and green and croaks?
A frog invited to the quarter final of the RWC.



Having chosen to try this game, the ABs turned up and sliced, diced, cut, hacked, smashed, and eviscerated the Frogs in a worldwide first, the live vivisection of a rugby team. Superb stuff and you couldn't take your eyes off the carnage the whole time.

The best try of the night? This Lomu-esque piece of genius from Savea. But the build-up to it was AMAZING!!! Ben from the back goes into orbit to collect a high ball from Dan and then holds off 25 Frenchies before the ball gets flung wide by Aaron to Lurch and a smart offload to Big Julian to rumble, smash and bash his way over the the Frenchie outsides.



What we learned from the game:

Dan tried. He really tried. He had his best game in a black shirt since 2005. I am super impressed. No doubt he'd been told he really would be benched for BB or Colin if he had another shit game. Dan only has two games and a few more training sessions to get injured...is he actually going to make it through an entire world cup?

Kaino also played his best ever game. Just Kieran Read is the odd one out of the forward pack not performing to maximum ability. It was noticeable how much more BLOODY AWESOME we got when Sam Cane came on.

The Fear of Losing is a great motivator. As is the end of your career as an AB. You want to go out in style and be REMEMBERED. So many of the team are retiring after the world cup and this really could have been their last game and it proved to be the catalyst required to get them moving. There would have been few fond memories of this 2015 team had they not finally got it together. 

The French were shown up for the limited side they are and hopefully this will set them on the path to redemption. Scrap their new-found one-off rugby and embrace the French joie-de-vivre of old.

There were no scrums. Or almost none. That's the key to us winning this thing. No scrums....And catching the ball. That's the other key to winning this thing. That's two keys. It's a double locked door to this World Cup.

Quarter-Finals - Rugby World Cup

The final pool matches were mostly epic as teams threw everything into last ditch qualification and attempts to avoid the big teams in their coming quarter final. Scotland vs Samoa (36-33) will live long in the memory. That first half was mega-frenetic like a multi-ball pinball game. Quite how Scotland got up to win under the awesome fury, cunning and dazzling skills of the Samoans I'll never know. But they did. Laidlaw was excellent throughout and he's become the form kicker of the tournament too.

Ireland v France and Wales v Australia were both pretty impressive contents too. Not impressive in the range of skills on show but in the 'omg, they have literally just become human battering rams' way. Whatever is left of France and Wales will probably not be much. Both of these teams deservedly lost their encounters after failing to try anything at all. Watch Dan Biggar with his head in his hands as Cuthbert and North repeatedly turned into or ran straight at opponents is heart breaking. Poor Dan has the misfortune of being far too damn good for the rest of his humongous, hulk-sized, one-idea colleagues. France too have had every piece of endeavour cut from them. Despite playing against an Ireland team that had players dropping like the plague, they still couldn't muster any quality, style or invention. It's a great shame. Ireland won easily but they'll be counting the cost of losing O'Brien, O'Connell and Sexton this weekend.

So to the matchups this weekend. I asked rugby genius, Marty (back home in NZ) his thoughts on the matches too so have popped those in.

QF1 - South Africa vs Wales

Whatever's left of Wales after their huge injury hit campaign will probably be annihilated by South Africa. Which is a pity because we'd all like to see South Africa lose. After all, Japan beating them was the highlight of this and every single other World Cup. Dan Biggar deserves a better team. Maybe when Gatland goes they'll add a bit of dynamism to their play and look a bit more threatening with the ball. Kriel and Allende should have far too much guile for Lord of the Rings extra Roberts and whoever is still alive to partner him. Up front, Etsebeth and the baby-faced bruiser De Jager will trample all over the Welsh.

Not expecting it to be pretty but Boks by 10.

Marty: Loving the Springbok’s midfield right now (which they fielded during the Rugby Championship when JDV was out injured) and if they fire they should beat the Welsh. But the Welsh have been surprisingly gutsy this tournament, if a little stupid.

QF2 - New Zealand vs France

In a repeat of virtually every single other RWC we are drawn to play France again. Once again instead of being the easybeats they look like against everyone else, they'll probably play light years ahead of themselves and give us a torrid time. Having been to the 1999 RWC semi-final loss and the 20-20 draw in Paris, I know only too well how good the French are. I can't imagine the French playing as badly, or as insipidly as they did last week against the Irish. All attempts at moving the ball have been lasered from them, so I guess we know how they'll play. It's just up to our forwards to withstand the barrage. I note though with a twinge of alarm, that their players have mutinied this morning and have sacked Philip St-Andre as coach. Probably for the best - he's made them into a terrible team. Basteraud has been dropped and the infinitely better Fofana is in again. Dusatoir is still brilliant and will probably make mincemeat of Kaino.

As to us, the team looks ok if a little un-imaginative. I personally can't see the point of playing Dan Carter any more and would prefer BB or Slade there, or maybe McKenzie or Sapoaga. Dan will probably get injured during this game anyway so one of them will be on the plane if we get through. Ben Smith at fullback is a waste of the two or three tries he would get playing on the wing, so I'd play Mulder Scully at fullback. Lastly, Read probably needs a break or a surprise sit on the bench to wake him up - Cane could play 8 very happily. The bench look lively and only the scrum which has gone backwards against every team so far is an issue. The answer of course is no scrums. Not easy when we've made more handling errors than any other team at the RWC.

Would I be surprised if we lost? No. By any measure, we'be been below par so far in the cup. We simply don't seem to be able to catch the ball with any regularity. But we must have a good performance coming soon...surely? ABs by 10.

Marty: We will cream them Dave – I think the mental states of the two teams are quite different this time. I’m predicting a win by 13+. The ABs will open their full bag of tricks, some of which you started to see in the second half of the Tonga match – e.g. they switched to a gang-tackling strategy and attacked the rucks a lot more than they have done all year. Only worry is the scrum – get it in and get it out!

QF 3 - Ireland vs Argentina

Like everyone else I've been impressed with Argentina. They have an excellent 1st five (Sanchez) and dazzling wings (Cordero - quick as!) and of course their rock solid scrum. Ireland have started to look like a team that are just on the wrong side of their peak. Key players are injured or suspended for this game so things look a bit squeaky. Ireland's big game nous and Six Nations winning experience should be enough but key leadership is gone from the field.

Ireland look shaky throughout but win by 3.

Marty: Would love to see Argentina go through but I think the Irish will be too smart for them.

QF4 - Australia vs Scotland

Scotland have had a good campaign but they're a team on the build and this is too soon for them. I expect big things of Russell and co. over the next few years but right now, Australia are just too good. I expect them to run Scotland off the park in the second half.

Australia by as many as they can be bothered scoring. Probably by 15.

Marty: Australia should hammer Scotland, especially now that they’ve lost two key forwards. I guess you never discount the Scots backs-to-the-wall mentality though, eh.



Can't wait. It's going to be a fantastic weekend of sport. Fingers crossed we're still there on the other side! Come on All Blacks.

After all that last games of the pool match stress stuff over the weekend, here's something to lighten the mood. Everybody's favourite Australian (and in fact, the only nice Australian in the world ever, apart from maybe Kylie, and Olivia Newton John, and maybe Hugh Jackman, ok, there's a few nice ones, but no rugby players, other than this guy, right?), Nick 'the Honey Badger' Cummins is starring in an undies commercial.

It is unequivocally brilliant! Clearly made up on the spot and featuring Nick's trademark colloquialisms, it deserves to go gangbusters. Keep your rod and reel intact fellas.