The art of 'fitting in'

While I'm back here in NZ I'm staying with my folks and younger brother. This means that I'm out or being invited out with loads of people I've never met before.

I guess everyone has different ways of coping with meeting new people or operating in a crowd of strangers. There's the traditional method of drinking more than you would normally and quite quickly so that you get drunk and stop caring about what others might think about you.
This can occasionally backfire as your drunkeness can cause you to do several things that you might not ever normally do. eg. vomit on the table causing a scene, grope / molest or point suggestively at the attractive waitress / passerby / fellow dinner attendee or tell obnoxious jokes too loudly and then explain them in minute detail as you don't think anybody got them the first time. All of these things can get you into trouble.

And if you aren't a big drinker, then what are your options? You can sit there like a mouse all night waiting to be taken home, or attempt to join in the conversation by nodding enthusiastically at everything.
Tonight I used the rather abstract method of colouring in a childrens drawing with crayons borrowed from the 7 year old daughter of one of the guests. The results will hopefully be displayed here somewhere.
Everyone thought I was a bit strange to begin with but soon got into
it, and I had suggestions flying in from everywhere as to what colour
should go where. Eventually it got shown to a waiter who decided he
needed to jump on a chair and pronounce loudly to the entire
restaurant that 'this guy here had drawn this!' pointing at my
picture. It is lucky I don't have an embarassment gene. Anyway, we got a plate of free lollies out of it. Awesome.

Me avec crayons and my excellent picture

You just have to keep reminding yourself that these people are
probably really excited to meet someone new too.

Holidaying at home in NZ and the weather

It poured down all day today. In fact it has poured down pretty much constantly since I got here mid December for my holiday. It's not like I chose Invercargill to holiday in either. I am in the land of Sunshine - the Bay. The Real Bay not the pretenders down there on the East Coast. Anyway, it turns out I've arrived in the worst Summer of all time. What is most annoying though is the stupid weather forecasters. They may as well be the charlatans at the gypsy fair staring into their crystal ball, summoning up the powers from beyond, and telling the poor soul in front of them whatever it is they want to hear. I see a woman in a rocking chair ('oh my goodness, they reply, it must be aunty madge') - that's right, and aunty madge is telling me that she forgives you, ('gosh, after we made her leave her home and live in the hospice for the last 20 years of her life so we could sell her land and put condominiums on it. I knew she didn't really mind. thank goodness') , they reply leaving the tent happy and content. I think you know what I mean.

If I hear one more weather lady/man tell me that 'summer is almost here', I will drive down to their little weather hut and drag them kicking and screaming out into the goddam elements where they can see for themselves that Summer is most definitely not here. Nor is it almost here, nor did it arrive a day or two ago when they said it would. Idiots. Why bother predicting weather and putting up maps with sunny things on and clouds and things when they have absolutely no idea what is going to happen? Why do I watch when I know that it is pointless?

Enough already.